my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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