She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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