some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
