I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
