You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
