Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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