she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
