then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Someone came in the potted fern
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
