I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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