I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
