My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
