watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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