I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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