I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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