Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
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You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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