Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When are your genitals available?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
