whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
