You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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