i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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