let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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