She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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