ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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