butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
