you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
