Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just pee around me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
