Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
