Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
