you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize