The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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