they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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