she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
