taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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