so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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