you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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