We got so high we made milksteak
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
