He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize