Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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