She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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