legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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