After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
