we're blogging at a bar
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
