trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
