i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
