Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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