dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
