I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The air taste purple.
Randomize
