When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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