Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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