I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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