I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize