she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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