I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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