so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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