my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
