I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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