): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
