i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
