I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
