I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
