I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i out mim tonsoeep
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