and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
