Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
