you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
