its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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