hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
