So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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